Delivery of Isabelle

So you know, I have been in and out of hospital for many reasons.. From durian cake poisoning to early contractions to threatened pre term labour to breech baby. Super eventful last trimester..

On 27th May ~730pm, I started to feel frequent tightening after dinner, followed by aches over my lower back. I was not sure whether I was in labour or not and decided to watch first before going to delivery suite again! 

~9pm, Desmond and I decided to watch our last episode of The Walking Dead season 6, and if by the time the show ends and I am still in pain, we will call the delivery ward. Haha. The aches over my lower back and tightening over tummy seems more frequent and the show was only halfway through... A completely different feeling when I had contractions with Gabrielle. 

~10pm I gave up tolerating the pain and asked Desmond to call the delivery ward. I prepared myself by showering and brushing my teeth... hahaha. All ready to pop and not shower for a day or 2 post delivery. Eeeks!

~11pm I was 3cm dilated! I opted for epidural straight even though I could tolerate the pain at that moment... who knows whether I will scream the next few hours to come! 

~4am I was only 4cm dilated?! I was given medication to induce and by 6am... I can feel my baby's head already!!!! 

~6am POP! Welcome Isabelle!

37 weeks

I survived threatened pre term labour! Thank God!

Last week, I had my follow up with my gynae, my baby was breech..
It was the first time I encountered such issue and it was pretty scary~ I was scheduled for ECV (External Cephalic Version) last Monday when I am 36th weeker. Procedure on Monday was cancelled after I fasted for 12hours and waited in the delivery suite for an hour plus! Some system cropped up and Prof did not know I was in the delivery suite. Gaaahhh. I was rescheduled for it the next day.

Tuesday, I fasted the night before again, waited for Prof as he was in the midst of a cesarean. Got cannulated by my own hubby, 18G cannula. Not painful at all! No kidding~
The team then came and pop by and did a bed side ultrasound to ensure that the location of the baby head... GUESS WHAT! She turned back down! Thank God!! This baby caused me a lot of inconveniences in my last trimester! Yikes~

Now 37th weeker, I can't wait for her arrival. I feel soooo much pressure on my pelvis. Please come out sooon~
I do not know why, but as I am blogging, somehow I feel that little little teo is not in the position she is supposed to be. Oh well, time will tell..

Oh yes... I still have to complete my last assignment due end of the month! gaaaaaahhhhhhh.

2nd Pregnancy LAST trimester LAST post before I pop

A quick summary of what I have been through past 7-8months......

Yes! I'm in my 35th week now, did not take as much picture as I did for the 1st one.. This pregnancy is so different despite the same gender as my first baby!

Current weight gain is about 10kg-12kg? Cravings only came in at about 33 weeker and all I crave for is HaiDiLao..
This whole pregnancy was pretty stable in terms of morning sickness and energy level till I reached 32 weeker. There wasn't any burst of energy unlike my first pregnancy 2nd trimester. In fact I felt slightly more tired than usual in my 2nd pregnancy, perhaps its because no.2 came tooo early! haha! Well, its kinda planned.

So, I was recently hospitalised due to multiple contraction and they did a swab and was positive for threatened preterm labour. Kinda sucky cos I was only 34 weeker. Anyhows, I safely survived 34 weeks and I'm on 35th week. Its a love-hate relationship cause I really could not wait for baby to pop. I can't sleep well at night as I was really resting in bed MOST of the time during the day. Lots of emotional built up as I felt that the world is moving and I'm just stagnant lying down at home doing nothing!
Okay, not really nothing per say, I get to read books to Gabrielle, watch her eat.. etc. Her eating habit got me worried, She loves her Milk and Packet food which contains.. carrots, quinoa, cinnamon, broccoli etc etc. and clear soup. Everyday is a challenge to feed her! What's comforting is, there is actually worst kids out there or kids in the same situation as me, i'm not alone! So I take it as part of their growing phase. At least she drinks her milk. =)

On the side note, Gabrielle learns how to express what she wants or do not want like shaking her head when she does not want something, say words like apple, mum mum, ball, lion and wow. LOL(not included).
Sadly, she still could not walk independently, AT MOST 4 steps only! Super duper lazy! Coming 13 months end May and she still have not mastered it. Well, what I've noticed is she really loves books, I could read to her 7 story books at one go, she would sit with me and listen, and YES, I got to be damn drama with my tone, what I say etc. Haha ~ Motherhood.

During this last trimester, especially this week, I have a strong urge to save up as much as I can to provide a bigger home for my children, bigger home meaning a HDB 120-144sqm is also okay! I do not need an extravagant upgrade, just ample space for my kids especially when they grow older, they will have more things, and my current living room is... cui. That being said, we gave ourselves 3 years. Of course, I am still thankful for what I have now, having a family with 2 kids, and a super loving hubby that cares a lot for his family and my mother who sacrifice a lot to help me, and of course my sis.. my bro.. LOL. Without them, I wouldnt grow too. Just that sometimes, they can be irritating. HAHA! Which of your siblings aint irritating really?~ LOL. oh yes, cannot forget my helper, kept my place in tiptop condition and help to feed my little gabby when Im at work!

I'm also on my last assignment before I finally graduate like finally? Good to have a degree, but not necessary.

Okay, my heartburn just got resolved, so I'm going to end my post here! I hope I can blog again after baby no.2 pops!

=D

Oh boy!

I was reading my previous posts to refresh my memory on which part of my life have I stopped blogging. I realized it was about me trying to breastfeed Gabrielle and not wanting to diet at that point!

Right.... despite all the milk boosters I've bought, consumed.. etc. etc. My milk supply did not increase at all! Why? because..... IM PREGNANT AGAIN! weeee~ (No, I'm not addicted to pregnancy life; I just want to get over and done with pregnancy for good ASAP)

Some mothers may want to spend more time with their current kid before having the next. Seriously? I think that is very normal. I guess I am the abnormal one. I do not enjoy having a break of 2 years, then come the 2nd one. I find it a torture. LOL. On the other hand, I'm currently having a dilemma of having a break of 2-3 years before having no.3 and no.4. If no.3 ever comes, I think I will regret again during the 1st 3 months of torturous morning sickness.

This pregnancy is sooooo different from the first one. Let's talk about the first trimester, the hot topic of  all pregnant mothers -

Morning Sickness

1st pregnancy: So freaking bad. I dread going to work; it was a real challenge. Every smell especially FISH made me want to puke. There was a point that I was dehydrated till I need to be on drip. Tired... lethargic.. vomit... tired.. lethargic.. vomit.. and... repeat.

2nd pregnancy: On and off morning sickness. Gastric pain was not as bad as the first one (may be due to confinement that made my gastric stronger- never know). Not so tired and not much appetite.

Cravings

1st Pregnancy: After the 1st 3 months of morning sickness, I craved for carbs, meat, ice cream and waffles! I ate like no tomorrow. Cos no one gonna judge a preggy when they eat. haha!

2nd Pregnancy: I only craved for salad.... and fish. I'm so crazy about cod fish and .. fillet o fish! I'm so happy lah, my cravings this pregnancy so bloody healthy. hehe. Yes, no one is going to judge a pregnant lady when they eat, so I judge myself.

Weight Gain

1st Pregnancy : I was 81kg at least at full term? Didnt manage to weigh myself as I was on maternity leave... Total weight gain of 26-28kg~~~

2nd Pregnancy : I lost 2.2kg during the first trimester, Now at 5 months pregnant, I gained about 1kg nett. I find it a lot eh! Because I was bingeing on fillet o fish for 3 nights! yikes!!!! I need help! I need mac to ban me from drive thru.

Goodbye Confinement! (I realised I did not post this after I typed it!) For latest post, please scroll down

Oh Gawwwwwwwwd~~~~ I have so many things to share with you guys!

First of all!!! I need to admit something! I had....... EPIDURAL. I was literally crying for it!!! The pain is crazy! Everytime when contractions start (when i'm 4-5cm dilated), it is so painful that I feel like pulling off every monitoring device off my body! ROAR!

I was willing to try not having epidural at all! Now, I am totally in love with it. It is a love hate relationship!

The first week post-natal was very taxing for my husband and I. Due to Gabrielle's premature atrial contraction, she was warded to ICU. I kept crying and tearing, for what reason? I really couldn't tell. I guess it is post natal blues.

Soon, it was 2nd week post pregnancy, and my I hired a confinement lady just to cover for two weeks till my next CL to arrive. Sadly, I trusted this agency, and it was a wrong decision made. Being so stressed up due to Gabrielle's admission and post natal blues, I thought I could finally rest my mind and have a good confinement.  Upon arrival of the CL from this agency, things was pretty okay until I see her long nails! That made me very very uncomfortable. Then, as she was going to cook dinner for me, she asked me how would I like my vegetables cooked? I said anything, cause frankly, I am ok with any food as long as it is allowed during confinement period, on the other hand, I am not someone who cooks frequently so I wouldn't know how you want to cook the dishes! I understand if she were to ask, do you want to eat fish pork or chicken? So she suggested, vegetables with sesame oil. Okay, lets try. GUESS what was served to me during dinner?? BOILED PLAIN VEG. I got quite pissed and asked her," I thought you asked me what would I prefer? why did you only boil the veg?" SO smart of her to put the blame on my helper! So I told her," You asked me what I would like, why did you listen to my helper instead?!" She could only apologise. Then I told her, in the morning, i needed her to prepare herbal shower water for me, SHE GAVE ME A SHOCKED LOOK! GOSHHHHH!! The final combo she gave was, I can cook for you ABC soup and Lotus soup (these are NON-HERBAL). Reason? " So everyone in the family can drink, more convenient" FAINT MAX! she got sacked within half a day. That agency should QC their CLs... Instead of lifting off burden from Mothers, they caused more inconvenience. SIGH.

My husband took up the role of the confinement lady standing in for night shifts and I thank him so much! NOT even a single complaint. AWWW BOY I LOVE YOU.

Finally a real confinement lady came. I manage to have proper sleep... GOOD food... Baby is well taken care of. IF any of you need contact, EMAIL ME! She is DAMN good at cooking. Lots of effort made.

Confinement is coming to an end, I can't wait. I cannot wait to go shopping! I cannot wait to go grooming! Most importantly, WORKOUT!! eeeeks!!! EXCITED MUCH.

Negativity vs Positivity

I always have negative thoughts about EVERYTHING. okay, not everything lah but most of the things. Especially post pregnancy, your thoughts really plays with you.

Some examples in my life that can be seen differently.

FACT #1: I am 63kg now. 

Negativity: I am damn FAT lah! Used to be 55kg slim and damn hot (no shame siol), no stretchmarks, toned etc etc. Why 5 months after birth I am still so fucking FAT! 

Positivity: FREAK! I LOST 18KG in 5months! that is like 3.6kg per month! and... hEY! I did not work very hard to lose weight. I took fatty food to boost my breastmilk supply- like avocados, bananas, virgin coconut OIL, CHEESE, nuts.. etc! (Yes, to me, breastfeeding is important, I did not because of how I want to look, stop breastfeeding.. pleaaaase do not wrong me.) So imagine, if I really worked hard, exercise like siao, go on diet... my achievement gonna be AWESOME.

FACT #2: I have stretchmarks.

Negativity: EEW LAH! I look like a zebra! How many girls, at my age, have stretchmarks, even though they are pregnant or have kids, their skin so nice lah (I assume la, no evidence)!  eew, 27 years old, with a stretchmark filled skin... fml.

 (ok. this zebra is cute.)

Positivity: EH! EH! EH! I got one super cute daughter! 

My husband loves me even more cause he see what I have been through during pregnancy! I am thankful I can spend on lasers.... RFs... etc etc... Not everyone are willing to spend or have that kind of money to spend on such treatments. It is not about money too. Lets say, I am damn rich, but no one help me to look after my baby, how am I supposed to leave home for such treatment? SO.... really thankful for my mum for supporting me, helping me to look after Gabrielle so I got time for myself. 

Anyone can say anything they want to. They can TRY to make you happy or unhappy by simply saying something....... But it is you who control your thoughts on what they say. It is you who control how you want to react or feel towards it.. 

So which one do you belong to? Positivity or Negativity? 

Stressful September/Life as a mother

Hola! September has been hectic, there is so little time for so many things! Assignments... Essays... whats not. Thank God it is coming to an end by Oct! 2 more exams paper to go!

Just a sudden thought, that made me want to blog about this.

My life, as a mother.
By the way, I have only 7.5kg more to go to my pre pregnancy weight! and........ I am not dieting at the moment. One huge reason, I want to continue to breastfeed.

When I was 13kg away from my pre pregnancy weight, I told myself I have to do everything to achieve my "ideal weight" cos the whole family is going to Maldives. Of course, I would not want to be in "sarong" in maldives. My weight drop as each day passes, so does my milk supply. I was in a serious dilemma because I want my weight to drop... but not my milk supply! To a point that I have to decide to introduce formula to Gabrielle. (and yes, the paranoid me bought organic formula powder with no soy oil by the way). I began to search for lactating food, spending on fennel teas, lactation teas, lactation cookies, multivits, brewer's yeast, alfafa.. etc. etc. I told myself to stop dieting, it is only 2 more months till she reach 6 months old before I can introduce basic food and top it up with breastmilk, by then, I will have enough and she wouldn't have to take formula powder. And so, I am stuck at 7.5kg away from my ideal, but I am happy and comfortable with that. Being able to provide breastmilk for Gabrielle is the least I could do.

Yes, I do not have ample or sufficient time to spend with her. I guess by doing the least, supplying her "gold" milk is what I can afford. I wouldn't paint a fake picture to the social media saying that I am how good to my daughter and that I do the most for her blablabla. In fact, I spend the LEAST time with her. Being so busy at work and school, Gabrielle has only 1/36 of my time? It is not that I do not want to spend my time with her, but I am already caught up with school and work. I have also decided to take 1 module less for the next semester so I can contribute more time with my baby because soon, she would not be a baby anymore.

My mother has been the main caregiver to little teo (Gabrielle) and I am really thankful for that. It is really so tiring and stressful at times. Especially when she left little teo all to myself and I have an ongoing 3000words essay to be completed; that very moment was super stressful. I can imagine how tired my mother is, and I try to urge her to go back home as many times as I could afford. Being a very nice grandmother, she did not mind staying over at all. I took advantage at times, to sleep longer, to "run away" from home. I hope everything will be better as this semester ends. I will have slightly more time and I hope my mother can have better rests at the same time I can spend more time with Gabrielle.

Having a kid now changes my perception of material goods too. All of a sudden, I feel the urge to save, to save for a bigger home so that no.2 can come along, and it will be big enough for my parents to move in. To save for a change of car after a bigger home, then all the holidays with the family. I never thought I would have such a mindset. Now, I get it when people says," when you have a kid you will know" or "when you have a kid you will change".

I have not been a good mother for the past 4 months but I will definitely try to be a better one as compared to last 4 months.

=)

my girl.