Stressful September/Life as a mother

Hola! September has been hectic, there is so little time for so many things! Assignments... Essays... whats not. Thank God it is coming to an end by Oct! 2 more exams paper to go!

Just a sudden thought, that made me want to blog about this.

My life, as a mother.
By the way, I have only 7.5kg more to go to my pre pregnancy weight! and........ I am not dieting at the moment. One huge reason, I want to continue to breastfeed.

When I was 13kg away from my pre pregnancy weight, I told myself I have to do everything to achieve my "ideal weight" cos the whole family is going to Maldives. Of course, I would not want to be in "sarong" in maldives. My weight drop as each day passes, so does my milk supply. I was in a serious dilemma because I want my weight to drop... but not my milk supply! To a point that I have to decide to introduce formula to Gabrielle. (and yes, the paranoid me bought organic formula powder with no soy oil by the way). I began to search for lactating food, spending on fennel teas, lactation teas, lactation cookies, multivits, brewer's yeast, alfafa.. etc. etc. I told myself to stop dieting, it is only 2 more months till she reach 6 months old before I can introduce basic food and top it up with breastmilk, by then, I will have enough and she wouldn't have to take formula powder. And so, I am stuck at 7.5kg away from my ideal, but I am happy and comfortable with that. Being able to provide breastmilk for Gabrielle is the least I could do.

Yes, I do not have ample or sufficient time to spend with her. I guess by doing the least, supplying her "gold" milk is what I can afford. I wouldn't paint a fake picture to the social media saying that I am how good to my daughter and that I do the most for her blablabla. In fact, I spend the LEAST time with her. Being so busy at work and school, Gabrielle has only 1/36 of my time? It is not that I do not want to spend my time with her, but I am already caught up with school and work. I have also decided to take 1 module less for the next semester so I can contribute more time with my baby because soon, she would not be a baby anymore.

My mother has been the main caregiver to little teo (Gabrielle) and I am really thankful for that. It is really so tiring and stressful at times. Especially when she left little teo all to myself and I have an ongoing 3000words essay to be completed; that very moment was super stressful. I can imagine how tired my mother is, and I try to urge her to go back home as many times as I could afford. Being a very nice grandmother, she did not mind staying over at all. I took advantage at times, to sleep longer, to "run away" from home. I hope everything will be better as this semester ends. I will have slightly more time and I hope my mother can have better rests at the same time I can spend more time with Gabrielle.

Having a kid now changes my perception of material goods too. All of a sudden, I feel the urge to save, to save for a bigger home so that no.2 can come along, and it will be big enough for my parents to move in. To save for a change of car after a bigger home, then all the holidays with the family. I never thought I would have such a mindset. Now, I get it when people says," when you have a kid you will know" or "when you have a kid you will change".

I have not been a good mother for the past 4 months but I will definitely try to be a better one as compared to last 4 months.

=)

my girl.

Happy Mothers' Day

A dedicated post for my mother!

First and Foremost, Thank God for a Wonderful Mother.


Happy Mothers' Day to you, Mummy. I'm 26 yrs old now turning 27 this year. Thank you for taking care all of US all these years. You have always been a pillar of support in our lives. It has never been easy to raise 3 kids and yes you did so well in raising the 3 of us together with Dad.

You done your part to provide us your best and always supporting us in whichever decision we made. E.g which school to go to (yes I chose it myself)., the sports I play. etc etc. Oh yea, but you don't really support me when I go partying. =/ hehe!
Also, always bringing us out to eat good food, that is why we enjoy food so much and thus got all of us FATTER. but thats fine............ =D









Anyhows, now that you are a grandmother.. and we are all grown up. It is time for you to retire and enjoy life without worrying.

Mummy, I love you even more now after being a mother myself. Taking care of kids is really not easy. The stress starts right from the moment I knew I was pregnant. Post pregnancy blues are even inevitable. Thank you for standing by supporting me, helping out with grocery shopping, buying all the good stuffs from the market, thank you for making me chicken essence once a week, thank you for providing me bird nest everyday!

Now that Gabrielle is born, you are busier running errands for me and that there were no complaints from you at all. 

I truly appreciate what you have done and once again, THANK YOU MUMMY AND I LOVE YOU!

Hey, besides saying thank you, I really do not know what else to say. Coz Im really thankful for what you have done for us all these years. 

Some pictures that I have picked out for you! ENJOY!

P.S. STOP DRINKING SO MUCH

And Dad, We Love you too. Just that it is Mothers' Day you know. Attention all to mum. Hehe.

To my another Mummy (MIL), Thank you for raising Desmond as a filial, respectful, helpful, patient, loving person. I Thank God for sending Desmond into my life. Being my MIL, you treated me and the rest of us like your own daughter. Always worrying for our health. Thank you for treating us like your own daughter. I look forward to our next overseas trip! <3

39 weeks! Summarizing my pregnancy journey

I am 11 days into my Maternity Leave and yes! I have not given birth yet. Past few weeks had been rather painful for me especially the hormonal mood swings! Urghhhh.. But! Things are getting better.... I guess it is because I am learning how to let go.

Let us take a step back and reminisce the past before I step into the next chapter of life anytime soon!

You can also read my thoughts during 1st trimester here .
During my 1st trimester (1st 3 months of pregnancy), I still remembered on the 29th of August, Desmond and I celebrated my 26th birthday at Morton's; the funny thing was, I did not have any craving for wine! It is really amazing how the body protects the baby by making me feel queasy when I think of alcohol. Haha! I ordered a small bottle of red wine just for the sake of having some wine on the dining table.
The next day, my family celebrated my birthday at a Korean BBQ restaurant at Dempsey, I did not even have the mood to dress up?! or Party? Moreover it is over the weekend! As usual, my alcohol connoisseur brother (alcoholic bro) ordered beer and soju. It is apparently damn good and it is placed infront of me! GUESS WHAT! I only took a sip! LOL.
On the 30th, I was all dressed up! Went to work and I went somewhere that I cannot remember! On my birthday itself, Hubby and I were strolling at Takashimaya, I told him, "Eh boy, my menses is 5 days late already.." As usual, he said, "watch and see how lor........" I got to drag him into Watsons at Taka to buy the test kit and TADA! Happy birthday Jamie Lim, You've got a kid as your birthday present!
No wonder I felt nauseated when I was driving to work for the past few days! No wonder my girdle suddenly felt soooooo tight that I could not even breathe! No wonder I whipped up sour salmon as dinner one night! NO WONDER I DISLIKE ALCOHOL! Hahaha

This is me taken during my company's Bali trip. 1st trimester but do not look pregnant at all! Love my "flat", scar-less and smooth tummy.
Will I ever go back to this state? I really have no idea! Surgery or not, options are open. I will do surgery to boost confidence, why not? Maybe after 2-3 kids? Maybe year end? No plans yet as I have to give myself time to recover.

WHEE! SO CAREFREE EH?

Nausea seems to get better after 16weeks, 2nd trimester! It is the best time of pregnancy? You just look like some fat ass enjoying food. HAHA. Had a really good time in London/Newcastle/Paris during my 2nd trimester with hubby. Time passed really fast during the 2nd trimester because it was almost all about enjoyment. 

Body changes and low mood kicks in during the 3rd trimester when I see my pretty body stretched, puffed,  fattened up and start having MRT tracks on my body. This is when I feel that I am the ugliest woman on earth. The only thing I felt was good is my complexion and my boobs. LOL.

Gonna show you guys how my body, tummy and stretch marks grew! As these pics are taken using my colleague phone, I do not have the dates with me! Enjoy the pics and yes, you can start gossiping about my stretch marks. 

The above last pic was taken quite some time back, prolly 3-4 weeks ago.. I do not have a recent pic of my baby bump! Or rather, I can't find an appropriate one to be posted online. So anyways..... back to stretchmarksssss...

Initially the stretchmarks started to appear over the butt and upper thighs, then at the sides of the knee and at the very end, the tummy and guess what! Those over the butt and thighs are fading already! I really do not know what is helping, as you can see from the above pic, stretchmarks over the hip area are not active anymore. The only active stretchmarks now is over the tummy and side of knee.

I have been using these products religiously, ensuring it is on my body for 24/7. I cannot say it is super useful? Because I still have marks growing on me despite applying, and those that are faded is either due to the products or natural progression of the stretchmarks. So yea...... but better to continue than have nothing on right?

Before applying Stratamark, I use the Clarins StretchMark Cream occasionally, instead of the body oil. Somehow I stopped using the cream and continued with the oil.
Anyways, side track, the oil is to be applied on damp skin after showering, then rinse with cold water and dap dry. Read this on Clarins website as they did not mention it in the package insert.
Stratamark is used to seal the moisture, so I apply it last!
I have spent way too much on all these products.. maybe 5k throughout the pregnancy? Products only... I am not born with awesome skin so yea... Will be going for treatment post confinement as mentioned earlier on my previous post!

Bad skin elasticity on my body. Thankfully I still have good complexion. *Consolation Prize*

I have learnt how to let go with the marks on my body and looking forward to exercise, tone and laser off those ugly marks away. Not forgetting the weight I have gained so far.. Worst case scenario of weight gain.... Maybe 30kg? Gonna take a chill pill for now and wait for Gabrielle's arrival! 

During this pregnancy, you kind of know who really cares for you and who doesn't and it is really unexpected! Really thankful for those people who are there to keep cheering me up and supporting me in any ways.. from my SA to work colleagues to friends to family... You know who you are. I really THANK YOU.  Guess what.... I have ONE colleague who can say that I am fat and laughed at me (she is not joking by the way. *roll eyes* I shall not expose you on the internet)

Lastly, Thank you Lao Gong for being there always! Literally. Especially when I feel moody and crazy. These past 39 weeks had not been easy for you. Thank youuuuuuuu! 

I LOVE YOU!

My next update will prolly be after Baby Gabrielle pops out! =D

Pregnancy Fatigue... Woes..... BUT!

It comes and goes without any warning. The past week had been really tiring both physically and mentally. I could sleep as early as 9pm, and wake up as though I have not slept through the night. Totally zombified. During work, I look forward to going to bed more than anything else... more than eating.... more than dessert. YES! DESSERT! no kidding. zzz. I could not endure the sudden onset of rapid bloating, pain, fatigue... guess what! When I lie supine on my bed for maybe... 10mins? then change position to lateral, my pussy hurts like fuck! REALLY PAINFUL!
Thankfully, I managed to call in my masseuse for a good massage, introduced by my hermes SA! She is strong and I fell asleep as the massage was toooo shiok. haha. Last lap of pregnancy is really not easy. There are so many things I have to accept. e.g. MY SUDDEN BLOATING. Whenever I laugh or smile... I couldn't feel my cheeks, neither can my eyes be seen. LOL.
On good days, I could go shopping and hang out with friends, but it lasts no more than 4 hours. By the 4th hour, my energy level dropped drastically, I could feel the weight on my pelvis and my face looked as though I am hypoglycemic.

Right.. all will be gone soon. I look forward to weight loss after pregnancy and will definitely share my journey on weight loss! by the way.................... I have already gained 24KG!!!!!!!!!! For the upcoming week, I plan to have..
Breakfast: Oats with eggs instead of bread.. nasi lemak... bee hoon .....
Lunch is going to be slightly unhealthy because there are limited choice (ahem,... excuses actually, there are super healthy food selling at paragon... HAHA!). Fine! Lunch is cheat meal, unless I feel like eating healthy.
Dinner will be at home! Steamed fish.. soup... BROWN RICE...
Dessert : Birdnest/strawberries/papaya milkshake. NO ICE CREAM ALLOWED ANY MORE.
It is easier to say/type than to be done. Really got to be more disciplined so that post natal meal restrictions will be easier for me to handle!

OH YES! I am also looking around and reading up for stretch mark removal lasers that is effective. IF IT IS EFFECTIVE I WILL SHARE DEFINITELY. IF it is not, I will share too, so that you guys dont waste your money. haha!  It is really depressing to have our skin ruined just because of pregnancy. AND I do not believe in looking ugly/aunty post pregnancy. I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO POST CONFINEMENT, where I can start planning my meals, workout... and do whatever that needs to be done to be normal again. Does not mean after having a kid I will not have time for myself right? Just got to move that huge ass of mine! Haha!

Hey! That being said, it is really amazing to have a little one wriggling in your tummy. On random moments she will give me a big kick! Funny and cute at the same time. Can't wait to see her face, how she will look like... how her character will be... Hehe. Gonna be exciting but scared at the same time, I really WANT a total natural birth...NO Pethidine/ NO Epidural/ NO Caesarian! I hate the side effects of Pethidine and Epidural, Some mamas that does epidural complain of achiness over their waist. Some, complain of side effects of Pethidine... VOMITING (Had enough vomiting during 1st trimester. DO NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN! ROAR!) For casearian, the only thing I dread is recovery, it takes about 3 weeks to recover from that cut? OR is it even longer? I do not dread the scar.... I DREAD wasting my time lying around and restricted to do any exercise. BOO! I hope I can go through the pain and at the same time baby teo will come out smmoooooooothly.


Hehe.