Goodbye Confinement! (I realised I did not post this after I typed it!) For latest post, please scroll down

Oh Gawwwwwwwwd~~~~ I have so many things to share with you guys!

First of all!!! I need to admit something! I had....... EPIDURAL. I was literally crying for it!!! The pain is crazy! Everytime when contractions start (when i'm 4-5cm dilated), it is so painful that I feel like pulling off every monitoring device off my body! ROAR!

I was willing to try not having epidural at all! Now, I am totally in love with it. It is a love hate relationship!

The first week post-natal was very taxing for my husband and I. Due to Gabrielle's premature atrial contraction, she was warded to ICU. I kept crying and tearing, for what reason? I really couldn't tell. I guess it is post natal blues.

Soon, it was 2nd week post pregnancy, and my I hired a confinement lady just to cover for two weeks till my next CL to arrive. Sadly, I trusted this agency, and it was a wrong decision made. Being so stressed up due to Gabrielle's admission and post natal blues, I thought I could finally rest my mind and have a good confinement.  Upon arrival of the CL from this agency, things was pretty okay until I see her long nails! That made me very very uncomfortable. Then, as she was going to cook dinner for me, she asked me how would I like my vegetables cooked? I said anything, cause frankly, I am ok with any food as long as it is allowed during confinement period, on the other hand, I am not someone who cooks frequently so I wouldn't know how you want to cook the dishes! I understand if she were to ask, do you want to eat fish pork or chicken? So she suggested, vegetables with sesame oil. Okay, lets try. GUESS what was served to me during dinner?? BOILED PLAIN VEG. I got quite pissed and asked her," I thought you asked me what would I prefer? why did you only boil the veg?" SO smart of her to put the blame on my helper! So I told her," You asked me what I would like, why did you listen to my helper instead?!" She could only apologise. Then I told her, in the morning, i needed her to prepare herbal shower water for me, SHE GAVE ME A SHOCKED LOOK! GOSHHHHH!! The final combo she gave was, I can cook for you ABC soup and Lotus soup (these are NON-HERBAL). Reason? " So everyone in the family can drink, more convenient" FAINT MAX! she got sacked within half a day. That agency should QC their CLs... Instead of lifting off burden from Mothers, they caused more inconvenience. SIGH.

My husband took up the role of the confinement lady standing in for night shifts and I thank him so much! NOT even a single complaint. AWWW BOY I LOVE YOU.

Finally a real confinement lady came. I manage to have proper sleep... GOOD food... Baby is well taken care of. IF any of you need contact, EMAIL ME! She is DAMN good at cooking. Lots of effort made.

Confinement is coming to an end, I can't wait. I cannot wait to go shopping! I cannot wait to go grooming! Most importantly, WORKOUT!! eeeeks!!! EXCITED MUCH.

Negativity vs Positivity

I always have negative thoughts about EVERYTHING. okay, not everything lah but most of the things. Especially post pregnancy, your thoughts really plays with you.

Some examples in my life that can be seen differently.

FACT #1: I am 63kg now. 

Negativity: I am damn FAT lah! Used to be 55kg slim and damn hot (no shame siol), no stretchmarks, toned etc etc. Why 5 months after birth I am still so fucking FAT! 

Positivity: FREAK! I LOST 18KG in 5months! that is like 3.6kg per month! and... hEY! I did not work very hard to lose weight. I took fatty food to boost my breastmilk supply- like avocados, bananas, virgin coconut OIL, CHEESE, nuts.. etc! (Yes, to me, breastfeeding is important, I did not because of how I want to look, stop breastfeeding.. pleaaaase do not wrong me.) So imagine, if I really worked hard, exercise like siao, go on diet... my achievement gonna be AWESOME.

FACT #2: I have stretchmarks.

Negativity: EEW LAH! I look like a zebra! How many girls, at my age, have stretchmarks, even though they are pregnant or have kids, their skin so nice lah (I assume la, no evidence)!  eew, 27 years old, with a stretchmark filled skin... fml.

 (ok. this zebra is cute.)

Positivity: EH! EH! EH! I got one super cute daughter! 

My husband loves me even more cause he see what I have been through during pregnancy! I am thankful I can spend on lasers.... RFs... etc etc... Not everyone are willing to spend or have that kind of money to spend on such treatments. It is not about money too. Lets say, I am damn rich, but no one help me to look after my baby, how am I supposed to leave home for such treatment? SO.... really thankful for my mum for supporting me, helping me to look after Gabrielle so I got time for myself. 

Anyone can say anything they want to. They can TRY to make you happy or unhappy by simply saying something....... But it is you who control your thoughts on what they say. It is you who control how you want to react or feel towards it.. 

So which one do you belong to? Positivity or Negativity?